Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
