im having a threesome with these popsicles
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize