Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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