Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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