I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
