Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
