One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
