Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I got inside last night via doggy door
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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