Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
