dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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