If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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