It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
