White coat. Heels.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."