found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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