haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
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he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz