she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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