I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My pussy is not your playground.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
my poor anus
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
