Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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