wanna go halves on a baby?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
