Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
