I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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