This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
