when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
