How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Bring me that man meat
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
