guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You smell like stripper and shame
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
