my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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