My room smells like vodka and shame
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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