Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
