I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize