I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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