He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
