He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
never play flip cup with pint glasses
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
