just come out here and I will go home with you...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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