Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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