He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
