they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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