you would pick up someone in the library
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
