We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
