Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize