I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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