bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
