My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
