I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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