And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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