Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
