every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
