I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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