just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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