Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
