And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
