bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
you made out with another girl for some wings
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
