So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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