I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
