Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
