Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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