My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize