ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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