she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
