Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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