Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I understand Curling. That high.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
