I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
