Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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