I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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