We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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