I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
