I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
