Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize