Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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